It's been challenging here at the Bohner household. The children have had a hard time with Mommy not being here 24/7...it's been exhausting, draining and overall discouraging....I keep fighting feelings of "I can't do this," "Why did you call me to this?" "I don't know what to do....I don't have the energy to do it if I did know!"
Today I ran out to get some juice at the store and was feeling so tired, so discouraged, so empty....as I 'basked' in my emptiness I felt a small voice reminding me-the more empty I am--the more I can be filled with His power, His strength, His wisdom....less of me; more of Him.
So just like Moses who didn't think he could lead the children of Israel to the promised land--I don't think I can lead my children through life--but the cool thing is--we both serve the same God---who can touch us and give us His strength for the journey.
Holy Fire burn away,
My desire for anything
That is not of you and is of me.
I want more of you and less of me.
Holy Fire burn away,
My desire for anything
That is not of you and is of me,
I want more of you and less of me, yeah.
Empty me,
Empty me, yeah,
Fill, won’t you fill me,
With you, with you, yeah.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Only touch the hem of His garment....
It gives me chills to write this blog....it's hard to put into words how God has touched my life but I can't contain my joy and gratitude for His touch.
It all started almost 15years ago when I was involved in a serious car accident that fractured my pelvis and destroyed my femoral artery. 8months later I underwent a femoral artery bypass to reconstruct circulation in my leg. The damage was very extensive and the dr's worried and watched me over the next 12 years as the artery continued to block off causing large clots, pain and extensive circulation problems. My spiritual walk went up and down as I recovered from one surgery or procedure only to be faced with more pain and more hospital visits as the problem continued.
August of last year I called my dr complaining of more pain and they recommended a 5th surgery to re-open the artery and possibly pull from my good leg to fix the bad one. As I prayed and struggled with this idea God gave me this verse in Matthew 9:
20And, behold, a woman, which was diseased with an issue of blood twelve years, came behind him, and touched the hem of his garment:
21For she said within herself, If I may but touch his garment, I shall be whole.
22But Jesus turned him about, and when he saw her, he said, Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole. And the woman was made whole from that hour.
I realized that it had been almost exactly 12years since my first surgery and I felt that God was promising me if I reached out and touched the hem of His garment I would be healed. I asked the church to join me in this prayer and I was anointed. Shortly thereafter I went to the hospital for the procedure and as I lay there waiting I decided that if it was God's will for me to carry this affliction I didn't want to do anything medically to change that...I told the Dr they could go in and look but not to do any major medical intervention. Amazingly enough when they performed the arteriogram they discovered that the original graft was totally blocked--however, my body had developed little threads of collateral circulation around the block--enough to support my whole leg!
Today I went for a follow-up appt with my surgeon and I am thrilled to report that my pulse is very strong and I am DISCHARGED!!!!
The woman dr's thought they couldn't help and the problem that medically would never go away--has been resolved and by God's grace I am cleared to live life without the fear of more surgeries or complications.
Praise God for His healing
It all started almost 15years ago when I was involved in a serious car accident that fractured my pelvis and destroyed my femoral artery. 8months later I underwent a femoral artery bypass to reconstruct circulation in my leg. The damage was very extensive and the dr's worried and watched me over the next 12 years as the artery continued to block off causing large clots, pain and extensive circulation problems. My spiritual walk went up and down as I recovered from one surgery or procedure only to be faced with more pain and more hospital visits as the problem continued.
August of last year I called my dr complaining of more pain and they recommended a 5th surgery to re-open the artery and possibly pull from my good leg to fix the bad one. As I prayed and struggled with this idea God gave me this verse in Matthew 9:
20And, behold, a woman, which was diseased with an issue of blood twelve years, came behind him, and touched the hem of his garment:
21For she said within herself, If I may but touch his garment, I shall be whole.
22But Jesus turned him about, and when he saw her, he said, Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole. And the woman was made whole from that hour.
I realized that it had been almost exactly 12years since my first surgery and I felt that God was promising me if I reached out and touched the hem of His garment I would be healed. I asked the church to join me in this prayer and I was anointed. Shortly thereafter I went to the hospital for the procedure and as I lay there waiting I decided that if it was God's will for me to carry this affliction I didn't want to do anything medically to change that...I told the Dr they could go in and look but not to do any major medical intervention. Amazingly enough when they performed the arteriogram they discovered that the original graft was totally blocked--however, my body had developed little threads of collateral circulation around the block--enough to support my whole leg!
Today I went for a follow-up appt with my surgeon and I am thrilled to report that my pulse is very strong and I am DISCHARGED!!!!
The woman dr's thought they couldn't help and the problem that medically would never go away--has been resolved and by God's grace I am cleared to live life without the fear of more surgeries or complications.
Praise God for His healing
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Withstanding the heat of life
This morning I read this passage of Scripture that encouraged me: Jer 17:7,8
But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.
8 He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit."
It's been a struggle the past month to 'keep my cool', give out enough hugs and kisses, housework blahblahblah....I feel like I let the ball drop 1/4 inch with Stephen and I lose 1/2 mile of progress or sanity. Sometimes I don't feel like I have enough stamina to handle family issues, needs and life....but then I read this verse and I remembered: the deeper my roots are in the stream--the more 'heat' I can withstand and the more fruit I will bear....as I meditated on this verse I thought of a 2nd passage in Galatians: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."
Then I switched translations in BibleGateway.com and the Message reads like this: "But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely."
So that was my thought process today....from Lord I can't handle it, to God give me a deeper relationship with you--more fruit of the Spirit and less of me 'trying' to do it....
But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.
8 He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit."
It's been a struggle the past month to 'keep my cool', give out enough hugs and kisses, housework blahblahblah....I feel like I let the ball drop 1/4 inch with Stephen and I lose 1/2 mile of progress or sanity. Sometimes I don't feel like I have enough stamina to handle family issues, needs and life....but then I read this verse and I remembered: the deeper my roots are in the stream--the more 'heat' I can withstand and the more fruit I will bear....as I meditated on this verse I thought of a 2nd passage in Galatians: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."
Then I switched translations in BibleGateway.com and the Message reads like this: "But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely."
So that was my thought process today....from Lord I can't handle it, to God give me a deeper relationship with you--more fruit of the Spirit and less of me 'trying' to do it....
Monday, August 9, 2010
Everything and anything
Verse for the morning: "Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am." Phil. 4:13(Message) The awesome promise from this verse is that it's not about what I do....it's who I AM in Him!
Friday, August 6, 2010
Praise God from whom all blessings flow!
How can I keep from singing your song? How can I ever say enough? How amazing is your love?!
The unexpected has happened--today God provided for our needs--cash enough to pay off our credit cards, our extra taxes and complete what we needed for our mortgage on the 2nd house! Praise His name! never a moment too late!
O Lord my God
When I in awesome wonder
Consider all the worlds
Thy hands have made
I see the stars
I hear the rollin' thunder
Thy power throughout
The universe displayed.
Then sings my soul
My Savior God, to Thee,
How great Thou art
How great Thou art
Then sings my soul
My Savior God, to Thee
How great Thou art
How great Thou art!
When Christ shall come
With shouts of acclamation
And take me home
What joy shall fill my heart
Then I shall bow
In humble adoration
And there proclaim,
"My God, how great Thou art!"
Then sings my soul
My Savior God, to Thee,
How great Thou art
How great Thou art
Then sings my soul
My Savior God, to Thee
How great Thou art
How great Thou art!
How great Thou art
How great Thou art!...
The unexpected has happened--today God provided for our needs--cash enough to pay off our credit cards, our extra taxes and complete what we needed for our mortgage on the 2nd house! Praise His name! never a moment too late!
O Lord my God
When I in awesome wonder
Consider all the worlds
Thy hands have made
I see the stars
I hear the rollin' thunder
Thy power throughout
The universe displayed.
Then sings my soul
My Savior God, to Thee,
How great Thou art
How great Thou art
Then sings my soul
My Savior God, to Thee
How great Thou art
How great Thou art!
When Christ shall come
With shouts of acclamation
And take me home
What joy shall fill my heart
Then I shall bow
In humble adoration
And there proclaim,
"My God, how great Thou art!"
Then sings my soul
My Savior God, to Thee,
How great Thou art
How great Thou art
Then sings my soul
My Savior God, to Thee
How great Thou art
How great Thou art!
How great Thou art
How great Thou art!...
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Resting
What a blessing we have as Christians....no matter what the circumstance, trial or pain we go through....to rest in His hand. This morning as I prayed and reflected this old song came to my mind as an awesome reminder.
I don't know about tomorrow,
I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from it's sunshine,
For it's skies may turn to gray.
I don't worry o'er the future,
For I know what Jesus said,
And today I'll walk beside Him,
For He knows what is ahead.
Refrain
Many things about tomorrow,
I don't seem to understand;
But I know Who holds tomorrow,
And I know Who holds my hand.
Ev'ry step is getting brighter,
As the golden stairs I climb;
Ev'ry burden's getting lighter;
Ev'ry cloud is silver lined.
There the sun is always shining,
There no tear will dim the eyes,
At the ending of the rainbow,
Where the mountains touch the sky.
I don't know about tomorrow,
It may bring me poverty;
But the One Who feeds the sparrow,
Is the One Who stands by me.
And the path that be my portion,
May be through the flame or flood,
But His presence goes before me,
And I'm covered with His blood.
True surrender isn't expecting God to fix your problem or figuring out a solution. True surrender and ultimate peace is resting, resting in His arms like a newborn baby.
I know who holds tomorrow! Praise His name!
I don't know about tomorrow,
I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from it's sunshine,
For it's skies may turn to gray.
I don't worry o'er the future,
For I know what Jesus said,
And today I'll walk beside Him,
For He knows what is ahead.
Refrain
Many things about tomorrow,
I don't seem to understand;
But I know Who holds tomorrow,
And I know Who holds my hand.
Ev'ry step is getting brighter,
As the golden stairs I climb;
Ev'ry burden's getting lighter;
Ev'ry cloud is silver lined.
There the sun is always shining,
There no tear will dim the eyes,
At the ending of the rainbow,
Where the mountains touch the sky.
I don't know about tomorrow,
It may bring me poverty;
But the One Who feeds the sparrow,
Is the One Who stands by me.
And the path that be my portion,
May be through the flame or flood,
But His presence goes before me,
And I'm covered with His blood.
True surrender isn't expecting God to fix your problem or figuring out a solution. True surrender and ultimate peace is resting, resting in His arms like a newborn baby.
I know who holds tomorrow! Praise His name!
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Worship or Worry
I received an e-mail Sunday afternoon with this challenge: My friend said that the message that morning was a challenge to worship instead of worry---she passed it on to us and said she was praying for our family for healing. It was an encouragement--yet a challenge--I stopped to ponder--would I be able to worship the next time something happened? The way our summer had gone I was sure it wouldn't be long until the next test happened :-) I began to worship and praise God as I rushed around my Monday chores and errands.....worship that is until I saw the lights in the mirror--you all know what that means :-)
I sat in the car waiting for the officer to review my license and hand me the fine...my stomach churned as I thought of the bills that needed paid and the money we didn't have....the choice was clear: worship or worry. I feebly reached out to God and said, Ok I'm willing to worship but I need help here! To my utter shock and amazement the officer handed me a written WARNING! without any pleas or begging on my part and I drove away with no fine! I felt a peace and confirmation in my heart--God's response to my desperate cry. Yet somehow I felt this was a mini-test, a practice run before the final exam....
Sure enough! It's Tuesday and we just got a call from our realtor--our appeal to the loan board was totally rejected and the appraisal stands as given--$9000 less than the contracted price. Faced with the choice again: do I worship or worry? Worry that I don't have enough or worship that He is enough?
It's easy to struggle with discouragement and wonder how we will ever get out of this mess....yet I also know that we won't have the chance to see God work if we don't stop and wait................and worship.
I will worship, with all of my heart
I will praise you, with all of my strength
I will seek you, all of my days
I will follow, all of your ways
I will give you, all my worship
I will give you, all my praise
You alone, I long to worship
You alone, are worthy of my praise
You are worthy of my praise
I will bow down, and I'll hail you as king
I will serve you, I will give you everything
I will lift up my eyes to your throne
I will trust you, I will trust you alone
I sat in the car waiting for the officer to review my license and hand me the fine...my stomach churned as I thought of the bills that needed paid and the money we didn't have....the choice was clear: worship or worry. I feebly reached out to God and said, Ok I'm willing to worship but I need help here! To my utter shock and amazement the officer handed me a written WARNING! without any pleas or begging on my part and I drove away with no fine! I felt a peace and confirmation in my heart--God's response to my desperate cry. Yet somehow I felt this was a mini-test, a practice run before the final exam....
Sure enough! It's Tuesday and we just got a call from our realtor--our appeal to the loan board was totally rejected and the appraisal stands as given--$9000 less than the contracted price. Faced with the choice again: do I worship or worry? Worry that I don't have enough or worship that He is enough?
It's easy to struggle with discouragement and wonder how we will ever get out of this mess....yet I also know that we won't have the chance to see God work if we don't stop and wait................and worship.
I will worship, with all of my heart
I will praise you, with all of my strength
I will seek you, all of my days
I will follow, all of your ways
I will give you, all my worship
I will give you, all my praise
You alone, I long to worship
You alone, are worthy of my praise
You are worthy of my praise
I will bow down, and I'll hail you as king
I will serve you, I will give you everything
I will lift up my eyes to your throne
I will trust you, I will trust you alone
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Commune with me
Another rough week....what started as a cough for Ruth and Stephen turned into a full-blown asthma attack and pneumonia for Ruth....as her condition worsened Friday I cried out to God and begged Him to keep her out of the hospital....begged Him for healing....my stomach churned as I watched her struggling to breathe and trying to cough up the mucous in her lungs....where was God? why wasn't He answering me? Ruth's July 13th check-up in Philly had re-triggered her asthma and neither of us have slept through the night consistently since then as she struggled with nightmares and fear....I could only imagine what another admission would do to her....
We gave Ruth treatment after treatment but couldn't get her little lungs to stop the attack....I went into a numb sort of denial as I packed for the hospital AGAIN...we knelt and prayed for God's healing but my heart wasn't there....I can't take anymore I shouted at God...why? why? why?
It is with humility and sorrow that I write this story....how could I forget God's presence and love again? How could I forget that God loving me didn't mean bad things wouldn't happen but that He would walk beside us the whole time?
The ER visit went smoothly--we didn't wait more than 10min and soon Ruth was getting the meds and treatment she needed....I held Ruth, too tired and worn out to even pray...her sats finally came back up around 1:30 and the dr was ready to send her home. We felt uneasy taking her home with her history so asked the dr to keep her overnight for observation. By 3am we were 'settled' in a room upstairs and slept fitfully throughout the night with treatments and alarms going off...at least I didn't--Ruth was so tired she slept through most of it :-)
As I paced the next day waiting to be discharged I couldn't even allow myself to pray or thank God she was better and her sats were almost 100%....I was hiding under the 'tree' whining, why me, why us? why again? We brought Ruth home and finally got her to sleep at 8:00pm--her poor little heart couldn't stop racing from all the meds she had been given....
As I reflected on the experience I asked Dave, Why isn't God speaking to us? What did we do? and then I realized.....all I had done was whine and complain and beg God for what we wanted....I hadn't given Him the opportunity to talk to us...I hadn't opened His word for encouragement or direction. But when I did today, His blessings and love once again flowed over me--how often do we avoid the blessing and peace because we're too busy worrying about our agenda instead of just basking in His presence and communing with Him......
So now that I can look at our experience with a 'God-view' what do I see? A smooth admission to the ER without a 2hr wait, a gentle dr who cared and an excellent nurse who got her IV on the first try. A pediatric resident who was honest and thorough and willing to listen to our concerns, confident parents that were able to advocate for what their daughter needed--extra rest and monitoring, family that stepped in with help, food and love and told us to go sleep.....
So maybe this wasn't a punishment or a mistake--maybe it was God's gentle call, "feel my Love, rest in My peace, commune with Me"
We gave Ruth treatment after treatment but couldn't get her little lungs to stop the attack....I went into a numb sort of denial as I packed for the hospital AGAIN...we knelt and prayed for God's healing but my heart wasn't there....I can't take anymore I shouted at God...why? why? why?
It is with humility and sorrow that I write this story....how could I forget God's presence and love again? How could I forget that God loving me didn't mean bad things wouldn't happen but that He would walk beside us the whole time?
The ER visit went smoothly--we didn't wait more than 10min and soon Ruth was getting the meds and treatment she needed....I held Ruth, too tired and worn out to even pray...her sats finally came back up around 1:30 and the dr was ready to send her home. We felt uneasy taking her home with her history so asked the dr to keep her overnight for observation. By 3am we were 'settled' in a room upstairs and slept fitfully throughout the night with treatments and alarms going off...at least I didn't--Ruth was so tired she slept through most of it :-)
As I paced the next day waiting to be discharged I couldn't even allow myself to pray or thank God she was better and her sats were almost 100%....I was hiding under the 'tree' whining, why me, why us? why again? We brought Ruth home and finally got her to sleep at 8:00pm--her poor little heart couldn't stop racing from all the meds she had been given....
As I reflected on the experience I asked Dave, Why isn't God speaking to us? What did we do? and then I realized.....all I had done was whine and complain and beg God for what we wanted....I hadn't given Him the opportunity to talk to us...I hadn't opened His word for encouragement or direction. But when I did today, His blessings and love once again flowed over me--how often do we avoid the blessing and peace because we're too busy worrying about our agenda instead of just basking in His presence and communing with Him......
So now that I can look at our experience with a 'God-view' what do I see? A smooth admission to the ER without a 2hr wait, a gentle dr who cared and an excellent nurse who got her IV on the first try. A pediatric resident who was honest and thorough and willing to listen to our concerns, confident parents that were able to advocate for what their daughter needed--extra rest and monitoring, family that stepped in with help, food and love and told us to go sleep.....
So maybe this wasn't a punishment or a mistake--maybe it was God's gentle call, "feel my Love, rest in My peace, commune with Me"
Monday, July 26, 2010
Knowing You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGbuz8QuhmE
All I once held dear built my life upon
All this world reveres, and wars to own
All I once thought gain I have counted loss
Spent and worthless now, compared to this
(Chorus:)
Knowing you, Jesus knowing you
There is no greater thing
You're my all you're the best
You're my joy, my righteousness
And I love you ,lord
Now my heart's desire is to know you more
To be found in you, and known as yours
To possess by faith what I could not earn
All surpassing gift of righteousness
The words of this song encompass so much! As the things of life are stripped away, one thing remains: Knowing Him who is my everything. The melody keeps echoing through my heart as I praise Him for who He is.
All I once held dear built my life upon
All this world reveres, and wars to own
All I once thought gain I have counted loss
Spent and worthless now, compared to this
(Chorus:)
Knowing you, Jesus knowing you
There is no greater thing
You're my all you're the best
You're my joy, my righteousness
And I love you ,lord
Now my heart's desire is to know you more
To be found in you, and known as yours
To possess by faith what I could not earn
All surpassing gift of righteousness
The words of this song encompass so much! As the things of life are stripped away, one thing remains: Knowing Him who is my everything. The melody keeps echoing through my heart as I praise Him for who He is.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Are you still happy?
The other day I was telling a friend how Dave and I met and how quickly our relationship had progressed. She asked me if we were still happy five years later after having a chance to get to know each other.
A lot has happened in the past five years. When Dave and I were married I had only known him a total of 10 and a half months: 3 and a half of which were courting and 5 and a half engaged and planning a wedding! Two months after we were married I found out we were expecting our first baby :-) Needless to say life has been a whirlwind since then!
So my friend's comment made me stop and think--would I have changed anything? I didn't know that Dave had a pet peeve about toothpaste running low, I didn't know how he could kiss(I'll spare you the details :-) but no disappointment there!), I didn't know that we would have three kids in three years :-) or that together we would be mourning for four different family members including his father and my grandmother.
But as I learned to know my new husband our commitment and 'puppy love' turned into a rich relationship--yes, full of some surprises :-) but we always found ourselves headed the same direction together: hand in hand.
So to answer the question: yes, we've been married five years and yes, I am still happy and we are still very much in love!
Ps...my gift for Dave(if he's reading this) is a new tube of toothpaste on the sink :-)
A lot has happened in the past five years. When Dave and I were married I had only known him a total of 10 and a half months: 3 and a half of which were courting and 5 and a half engaged and planning a wedding! Two months after we were married I found out we were expecting our first baby :-) Needless to say life has been a whirlwind since then!
So my friend's comment made me stop and think--would I have changed anything? I didn't know that Dave had a pet peeve about toothpaste running low, I didn't know how he could kiss(I'll spare you the details :-) but no disappointment there!), I didn't know that we would have three kids in three years :-) or that together we would be mourning for four different family members including his father and my grandmother.
But as I learned to know my new husband our commitment and 'puppy love' turned into a rich relationship--yes, full of some surprises :-) but we always found ourselves headed the same direction together: hand in hand.
So to answer the question: yes, we've been married five years and yes, I am still happy and we are still very much in love!
Ps...my gift for Dave(if he's reading this) is a new tube of toothpaste on the sink :-)
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Stop and Sing
Money, bills, stress, worry....all these things vying for my attention and my thoughts. This summer has been challenging for our family. AC problems, water in both basements, sickness after sickness, unexpected tax bills, house expenses--the list goes on. We started to wonder if we were stuck in some sort of time warp...where will it end? What is the answer? This week it all climaxed....the appraisal on our 2nd house didn't come through....bills are higher than expected....we don't have enough money to pay everything.....basically we need 124,000 to cover our expenses....
How could this happen to us? what did we do wrong....or wait.....maybe it's nothing we did--maybe it's what God wants to DO--in us, through us, for us!
So I stopped worrying and starting singing....and the clouds parted! I had forgotten to stop and sing, forgotten to stop and praise God for His blessings and what He was going to do....forgotten How Great He is!
O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!
How could this happen to us? what did we do wrong....or wait.....maybe it's nothing we did--maybe it's what God wants to DO--in us, through us, for us!
So I stopped worrying and starting singing....and the clouds parted! I had forgotten to stop and sing, forgotten to stop and praise God for His blessings and what He was going to do....forgotten How Great He is!
O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
I can handle it from here.....
Wow...we've been home from the hospital over a month now....our transition home was a lot different than I expected. God felt so real and close during the different hurdles we faced. I came home exhilarated, empowered and ready to enjoy a normal life. I was determined to keep that faith and trust in God's plan no matter what....but my faith wavered when His plan didn't match mine. I'm not sure what I expected....that I would win a medal for believing that He loved me and protected Ruth? that I could handle normal life but just needed God to watch over Ruth? I certainly didn't expect life to be difficult after 30days in the hospital....boy was I surprised!
I still don't understand why Ruth had a double ear infection and croup or why we all got sick while she was recovering...I don't understand why my sleep is still interrupted almost every night or why my son regressed emotionally and started attacking his sisters to get my attention, I don't understand why life still feels hard and each day feels like another challenge.....I don't understand how we could sell our 2nd house at the asking price with no negotiation, I don't understand how a little girl expected to be on tube feedings for weeks could leave the hospital eating normal foods, I don't understand why God blessed me with three beautiful children and a caring husband.
So upon reflection my thoughts have gone full circle and I am glad that I 'don't understand' but He does! Praising God for Ruth's encouraging check-up yesterday and looking forward to the future, one day at a time. :-)
I still don't understand why Ruth had a double ear infection and croup or why we all got sick while she was recovering...I don't understand why my sleep is still interrupted almost every night or why my son regressed emotionally and started attacking his sisters to get my attention, I don't understand why life still feels hard and each day feels like another challenge.....I don't understand how we could sell our 2nd house at the asking price with no negotiation, I don't understand how a little girl expected to be on tube feedings for weeks could leave the hospital eating normal foods, I don't understand why God blessed me with three beautiful children and a caring husband.
So upon reflection my thoughts have gone full circle and I am glad that I 'don't understand' but He does! Praising God for Ruth's encouraging check-up yesterday and looking forward to the future, one day at a time. :-)
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
My plan or God's plan?
Dave and I were discussing some financial challenges last night and I said,"seems like God isn't doing anything we expected Him to." and then I had to stop and laugh...Here I was expecting God to bless my plans instead of surrendering to whatever His plan was. I thought of Job...who lost everything he owned and yet in the end--he was willing to accept God's sovereign plan.
What a blessing to realize that we are not responsible to make the perfect decision, solve our problems or figure everything out! Our responsibility is to dwell in His presence and take one decision, one day at a time seeking His will for each step--instead of writing our own map and asking Him to remove all the construction :-)
Job answered God: "I'm convinced: You can do anything and everything.
Nothing and no one can upset your plans.
You asked, 'Who is this muddying the water,
ignorantly confusing the issue, second-guessing my purposes?'
I admit it. I was the one. I babbled on about things far beyond me,
made small talk about wonders way over my head.
You told me, 'Listen, and let me do the talking.
Let me ask the questions. You give the answers.'
I admit I once lived by rumors of you;
now I have it all firsthand—from my own eyes and ears!"
My goal for this week: stop 'babbling' and start listening!
What a blessing to realize that we are not responsible to make the perfect decision, solve our problems or figure everything out! Our responsibility is to dwell in His presence and take one decision, one day at a time seeking His will for each step--instead of writing our own map and asking Him to remove all the construction :-)
Job answered God: "I'm convinced: You can do anything and everything.
Nothing and no one can upset your plans.
You asked, 'Who is this muddying the water,
ignorantly confusing the issue, second-guessing my purposes?'
I admit it. I was the one. I babbled on about things far beyond me,
made small talk about wonders way over my head.
You told me, 'Listen, and let me do the talking.
Let me ask the questions. You give the answers.'
I admit I once lived by rumors of you;
now I have it all firsthand—from my own eyes and ears!"
My goal for this week: stop 'babbling' and start listening!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
The view from the other side:
Wow! What a blessing it is after you cross through the valley, climb the mountain and look behind you at the beautiful view! So many blessings and promises fulfilled as God carried us through. I think it is worth it to cross through the dark valley to see God's hand on everything! We are praising Him for all we have and all He has given us. I have to go back to our passage, the thoughts that started this blog and praise His name as I read it......
Psalm 20
A David Psalm
1-4 God answer you on the day you crash, The name God-of-Jacob put you out of harm's reach,
Send reinforcements from Holy Hill,
Dispatch from Zion fresh supplies,
Exclaim over your offerings,
Celebrate your sacrifices,
Give you what your heart desires,
Accomplish your plans.
5 When you win, we plan to raise the roof
and lead the parade with our banners.
May all your wishes come true!
6 That clinches it—help's coming,
an answer's on the way,
everything's going to work out.
7-8 See those people polishing their chariots,
and those others grooming their horses?
But we're making garlands for God our God.
The chariots will rust,
those horses pull up lame—
and we'll be on our feet, standing tall.
9 Make the king a winner, God;
the day we call, give us your answer.
Update on Ruth: she has adjusted to being home quite easily :-) she is treasuring every moment at home, especially playing with Stephen and Hannah! She didn't eat much today but drank plenty of liquids and was in a great mood :-) All we ask for at this point! As for the future, we don't know what it holds....we have to return to CHOP for follow-up and more imaging to check on the pseudo cyst that formed in her pancreas. She will be on a bland, low-fat diet for quite some time until her stomach/pancreas heals totally.
For now we are happy to be home: to be together as a family to enjoy life together!
Psalm 20
A David Psalm
1-4 God answer you on the day you crash, The name God-of-Jacob put you out of harm's reach,
Send reinforcements from Holy Hill,
Dispatch from Zion fresh supplies,
Exclaim over your offerings,
Celebrate your sacrifices,
Give you what your heart desires,
Accomplish your plans.
5 When you win, we plan to raise the roof
and lead the parade with our banners.
May all your wishes come true!
6 That clinches it—help's coming,
an answer's on the way,
everything's going to work out.
7-8 See those people polishing their chariots,
and those others grooming their horses?
But we're making garlands for God our God.
The chariots will rust,
those horses pull up lame—
and we'll be on our feet, standing tall.
9 Make the king a winner, God;
the day we call, give us your answer.
Update on Ruth: she has adjusted to being home quite easily :-) she is treasuring every moment at home, especially playing with Stephen and Hannah! She didn't eat much today but drank plenty of liquids and was in a great mood :-) All we ask for at this point! As for the future, we don't know what it holds....we have to return to CHOP for follow-up and more imaging to check on the pseudo cyst that formed in her pancreas. She will be on a bland, low-fat diet for quite some time until her stomach/pancreas heals totally.
For now we are happy to be home: to be together as a family to enjoy life together!
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Out of the desert
Wow...it's hard to believe that it has been 29days since this journey started. It seems like a lifetime ago that I was planning Mothers Day dinner and stressing about a dirty house.
God's presence has been so real, His grace so powerful in our lives, His love so evident in all the phone calls, cards, gifts, meals and e-mails from all of you! As we prepare to go home shortly(we still don't know when) I think of all the lessons we learned and all the Scripture that encouraged us...I feel like God took Dave and I out into the desert for some 'quality' time with Him and now it's time to go back to our ministry: raising three beautiful children. I realize that it was easier to focus on God when I had time to pray and meditate 24/7 without distractions of life and housework. Now the challenge begins--remembering His goodness and grace even when life goes smoothly and relying on Him for guidance even in the small steps of life.
Not sure I'll have as much time to continue the blog once we hit the ground running :-) and my thoughts might not be quite so deep amidst diaper changes and dirty dishes....but I hope I never forget the lessons we learned in a hospital room.
Love you all! Thanks for walking with us through our journey!
God's presence has been so real, His grace so powerful in our lives, His love so evident in all the phone calls, cards, gifts, meals and e-mails from all of you! As we prepare to go home shortly(we still don't know when) I think of all the lessons we learned and all the Scripture that encouraged us...I feel like God took Dave and I out into the desert for some 'quality' time with Him and now it's time to go back to our ministry: raising three beautiful children. I realize that it was easier to focus on God when I had time to pray and meditate 24/7 without distractions of life and housework. Now the challenge begins--remembering His goodness and grace even when life goes smoothly and relying on Him for guidance even in the small steps of life.
Not sure I'll have as much time to continue the blog once we hit the ground running :-) and my thoughts might not be quite so deep amidst diaper changes and dirty dishes....but I hope I never forget the lessons we learned in a hospital room.
Love you all! Thanks for walking with us through our journey!
Friday, June 4, 2010
Morsels of Grace
I've always had a hard time appreciating the little things in life....success to me was accomplishing a big task, cleaning the whole house, paying all the bills, filling the cupboards full with food....however, a month in the hospital has changed my perspective a lot!
For three weeks I couldn't offer my little girl even a sip of water...the occasions when she did have something often triggered her pancreas and either sent her into a pain attack or vomiting. I felt helpless...food was always pretty important in my life and I gauged my success as a mom with how well or how often I fed the children. Now all that was taken away and I had nothing left...until I realized that all my daughter wanted was for me to put my arms around her, to spend time with her, to play with her without distractions. Each moment became precious and soon I learned to value each moment with Ruth, with or without food.
Now that she is eating again...I watch every bite that goes in her mouth and praise God that she can have food again! Now every morsel feels like a gift, a treasure--an answer to prayer! and I wonder....if every part of life is meant to feel like that....a morsel of grace, a gift from our Heavenly Father!
For three weeks I couldn't offer my little girl even a sip of water...the occasions when she did have something often triggered her pancreas and either sent her into a pain attack or vomiting. I felt helpless...food was always pretty important in my life and I gauged my success as a mom with how well or how often I fed the children. Now all that was taken away and I had nothing left...until I realized that all my daughter wanted was for me to put my arms around her, to spend time with her, to play with her without distractions. Each moment became precious and soon I learned to value each moment with Ruth, with or without food.
Now that she is eating again...I watch every bite that goes in her mouth and praise God that she can have food again! Now every morsel feels like a gift, a treasure--an answer to prayer! and I wonder....if every part of life is meant to feel like that....a morsel of grace, a gift from our Heavenly Father!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Living a worry-free life?
So I thought the biggest worry would be getting through 24hrs without pain meds or an attack but then they said I could offer Ruth liquids and I was analyzing every swallow she took, every hiccup, every grunt--are you in pain? does your belly hurt? I quizzed her constantly too afraid to hope that maybe it would be ok this time. I finally realized that either it would work or it wouldn't and me freaking her out with questions wasn't helping.
I was thinking today--again on the elevator--how much worrying does God intend us Christians to experience? If we trust Him with the big things, the mortgage, health, the bills...when do we draw the line and stop trusting? If I gave Him control of Ruth did that mean I shouldn't worry about every swallow she took? Would He take care of Hannah's bad diaper rash and Stephen's anxiety? Then I started to think of Scripture...about not worrying about tomorrow...about how He cares for the sparrow and I started to wonder if God's plan for me included worry or complete faith in an ultimate loving Father who intended EVERYTHING for my good.
This is tough? I'm a MOM! Can't I worry at all? Isn't there some part of life that I need to control? The question remains: where do I draw the line at trusting God......
And after all that worrying--Ruth has done fabulous! She ate a full meal for supper of turkey, potatoes, veggies, fruit and bread! How much easier it would have been to celebrate God's blessings every bite of the way instead of worrying. But then I realized....I'm never going to 'arrive'....as many lessons as I've learned this hospital stay there are SO many more to go through...though I must say-I'm hoping to graduate this 'class' soon! :-)
I was thinking today--again on the elevator--how much worrying does God intend us Christians to experience? If we trust Him with the big things, the mortgage, health, the bills...when do we draw the line and stop trusting? If I gave Him control of Ruth did that mean I shouldn't worry about every swallow she took? Would He take care of Hannah's bad diaper rash and Stephen's anxiety? Then I started to think of Scripture...about not worrying about tomorrow...about how He cares for the sparrow and I started to wonder if God's plan for me included worry or complete faith in an ultimate loving Father who intended EVERYTHING for my good.
This is tough? I'm a MOM! Can't I worry at all? Isn't there some part of life that I need to control? The question remains: where do I draw the line at trusting God......
And after all that worrying--Ruth has done fabulous! She ate a full meal for supper of turkey, potatoes, veggies, fruit and bread! How much easier it would have been to celebrate God's blessings every bite of the way instead of worrying. But then I realized....I'm never going to 'arrive'....as many lessons as I've learned this hospital stay there are SO many more to go through...though I must say-I'm hoping to graduate this 'class' soon! :-)
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Choose life
I was thinking today as I rode the elevator up and down--going through 'normal' routines here at Philadelphia....what would I choose? Would I choose a solitary life with no hardships, coasting through with no ups and downs or would I choose a life with some struggles, some opportunities for growth and faith--knowing that there was a Sovereign God who cared and who was orchestrating every step to work out the best in my life. Would I choose a life that was stagnant or a life that was alive with hope, faith and love, with trust in a Heavenly Father that loves me...
I stopped for a second to think back on the past few weeks--as hard as they were, as challenging the waiting, the sorrow, the pain....I never felt alone, never felt deserted. How awesome it is as Christians to go through life knowing that whatever happens--our outcome never changes, our victory is always certain!
Deut. 30:19-20 sums it up:
"I call Heaven and Earth to witness against you today: I place before you Life and Death, Blessing and Curse. Choose life so that you and your children will live. And love God, your God, listening obediently to him, firmly embracing him. Oh yes, He is life itself, a long life settled on the soil that God, your God, promised to give your ancestors, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob."
I stopped for a second to think back on the past few weeks--as hard as they were, as challenging the waiting, the sorrow, the pain....I never felt alone, never felt deserted. How awesome it is as Christians to go through life knowing that whatever happens--our outcome never changes, our victory is always certain!
Deut. 30:19-20 sums it up:
"I call Heaven and Earth to witness against you today: I place before you Life and Death, Blessing and Curse. Choose life so that you and your children will live. And love God, your God, listening obediently to him, firmly embracing him. Oh yes, He is life itself, a long life settled on the soil that God, your God, promised to give your ancestors, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob."
Monday, May 31, 2010
Life: one swallow at a time
I have always been an impatient person, rushing here and there, jumping to conclusions and tapping my feet at red lights :-) God has somehow turned my life inside out and speed is the last thing I can do! Waiting, waiting, waiting....5hrs to see the dr....two days for the PIC line....three weeks without eating...I've learned that progress isn't always measured by what happens but by what doesn't.
Today started out hopeful: waiting for the drs to round so we could tell them Ruth still had no pain and get their approval to move forward...10 o'clock came, then 11, then 12, then 1...my frustration grew as the clock moved forward with no sign of the drs...then I remembered: the doctors weren't in control, God was--I realized it was easier to write about singing in a hospital room than to actually do it :-) especially when I was WAITING! But eventually the doctors did come and told us her labs were good and we could start offering her liquids...
Then the process started: a swallow every 15minutes..>I was determined not to rush it this time....then another swallow...then two swallows...inching forward with progress! I have a brand new appreciation for everything I put in my mouth, as I'm sure Ruth does too :-)
Then while sitting in the waiting room I met a young mother with a four year old son with pancreatitis! They have struggled with the disease for a year and always wanted to meet another family dealing with it. We are the first family they have seen at 3 hospitals in a years time to have this problem! I wonder, what does God have planned for us--to bring our paths together.....
Moving on...one swallow, one minute, one day at a time!
Today started out hopeful: waiting for the drs to round so we could tell them Ruth still had no pain and get their approval to move forward...10 o'clock came, then 11, then 12, then 1...my frustration grew as the clock moved forward with no sign of the drs...then I remembered: the doctors weren't in control, God was--I realized it was easier to write about singing in a hospital room than to actually do it :-) especially when I was WAITING! But eventually the doctors did come and told us her labs were good and we could start offering her liquids...
Then the process started: a swallow every 15minutes..>I was determined not to rush it this time....then another swallow...then two swallows...inching forward with progress! I have a brand new appreciation for everything I put in my mouth, as I'm sure Ruth does too :-)
Then while sitting in the waiting room I met a young mother with a four year old son with pancreatitis! They have struggled with the disease for a year and always wanted to meet another family dealing with it. We are the first family they have seen at 3 hospitals in a years time to have this problem! I wonder, what does God have planned for us--to bring our paths together.....
Moving on...one swallow, one minute, one day at a time!
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Singing from a Hospital Room
"There is an endless song
Echoes in my soul
I hear the music ring
And though the storms may come
I am holding on
To the rock I cling
How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing
I will lift my eyes
In the darkest night
For I know my Savior lives
And I will walk with You
Knowing You'll see me through
And sing the songs You give"
This song has been ringing in my ears throughout the past two weeks...in the darkest moments, the times I didn't know what was next--I felt His joy and His praises echoing in my heart. Praise His Name! I have realized that true joy isn't rejoicing when the labs go down or when the pain is gone...true joy is knowing that I am loved by the King and He is in control!
Today I sat in the playroom watching Ruth sing and play the keyboard...she has a tube in her nose with tape on half her face, she has a double lumen pic line hanging from her arm and where ever she goes a pole goes with her carrying her nutrition...and still, she sings with a smile on her face. What a testimony to us!
Even though we would rather not be here in a hospital room in Philadelphia, we have realized there is so much to be thankful for: so many other children are suffering worse than Ruth. I met a mom who has a 2yr old boy who can't eat...his intestines won't work and he has been in and out of the hospital and struggling for almost 2yrs. He is confined to his room here at Philly because of a previous infection and they aren't even sure he will ever recover from this disease....then there is the 10yr old boy happily putting together a puzzle last night...he asked how long Ruth had her tube and then told me he has a tube put in every single night and has for two months to give him nutrition. He suffers from Krone's disease. I could go on and on....We have discovered there is another whole world out there--a world of pain and suffering that we had never experienced before. Our journey has given us empathy and compassion in a way we never could have known before and yet we have discovered it is possible to sing from a hospital room!
Our current status is waiting, waiting and praying that Ruth will one day soon be able to go home and eat again...but I have realized that even if she doesn't I can still love her and share precious moments and most importantly praise our Heavenly Father who is still watching over us and always will.
Praise His Name!
Echoes in my soul
I hear the music ring
And though the storms may come
I am holding on
To the rock I cling
How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing
I will lift my eyes
In the darkest night
For I know my Savior lives
And I will walk with You
Knowing You'll see me through
And sing the songs You give"
This song has been ringing in my ears throughout the past two weeks...in the darkest moments, the times I didn't know what was next--I felt His joy and His praises echoing in my heart. Praise His Name! I have realized that true joy isn't rejoicing when the labs go down or when the pain is gone...true joy is knowing that I am loved by the King and He is in control!
Today I sat in the playroom watching Ruth sing and play the keyboard...she has a tube in her nose with tape on half her face, she has a double lumen pic line hanging from her arm and where ever she goes a pole goes with her carrying her nutrition...and still, she sings with a smile on her face. What a testimony to us!
Even though we would rather not be here in a hospital room in Philadelphia, we have realized there is so much to be thankful for: so many other children are suffering worse than Ruth. I met a mom who has a 2yr old boy who can't eat...his intestines won't work and he has been in and out of the hospital and struggling for almost 2yrs. He is confined to his room here at Philly because of a previous infection and they aren't even sure he will ever recover from this disease....then there is the 10yr old boy happily putting together a puzzle last night...he asked how long Ruth had her tube and then told me he has a tube put in every single night and has for two months to give him nutrition. He suffers from Krone's disease. I could go on and on....We have discovered there is another whole world out there--a world of pain and suffering that we had never experienced before. Our journey has given us empathy and compassion in a way we never could have known before and yet we have discovered it is possible to sing from a hospital room!
Our current status is waiting, waiting and praying that Ruth will one day soon be able to go home and eat again...but I have realized that even if she doesn't I can still love her and share precious moments and most importantly praise our Heavenly Father who is still watching over us and always will.
Praise His Name!
Life Happens
I found myself trying to settle into a new routine at home with 24/7 tube feedings for Ruth and tubes and syringes and hospital bags everywhere. Before we even found a new normal however the events turned again. Ruth was home less than 48hrs when she started to vomit...first occasionally and then hourly. After 24hrs we were back at the family doctor and later that morning were re-admitted to Hershey for dehydration and monitoring.
Forget surrender, forget peace, forget praying! My frustration and discouragement were at an all time low...what was going on? What did I do wrong? Did I miss a lesson God wanted to teach me? Did I not have enough faith? Were we being punished? We sat in the hospital another two days and then were sent home again to resume tube feedings...nothing made sense anymore..my confidence in drs and medicine had faded and I wasn't even sure Ruth was ok to come home but I just went along with the flow...Sure enough 3hrs later Ruth had a major attack of pain and we were frantically rushing back to the ER that night.
By this point we were furious, sad and frustrated...at medicine, at life, at this horrible disease! By this point Ruth had been stuck so many times there were little areas available for an IV so we asked for the best nurse they had. My heart broke again as we had to hold our little girl down as they tried to find a site. The nurse was excellent and as she started the IV she said, "Praise God! I was praying." It was so encouraging to be surrounded with fellow believers even in that tough situation.
Through this whole process I have had plenty of time to think and pray and it dawned on me one day that LIFE HAPPENS. As Christians we aren't granted free parking through life....stuff happens, trials, bad things, surgery, pain: it's all part of living in this world. The difference is that as Christians we have God's support and love to carry us through. I finally realized we weren't being punished. God had a plan in all of this and He would carry us through even though it might not be a quick trip or exactly the way we wanted it.
We sat in the ER 15hrs and waited for a bed in the hospital. Her numbers had tripled, her white blood count was up and the inflammation was back. I was once again reminded that God has a plan. We felt prompted at this point to ask for a 2nd opinion for her treatment. We felt that God was holding us in the ER for a reason....to prompt us that we were supposed to leave Hershey and weren't meant to get a bed. We asked the head doctor to be transferred to Philadelphia and he fully supported our decision. Within 7hrs we were in an ambulance headed to CHOP and arrived here Wednesday, May 26th.
Forget surrender, forget peace, forget praying! My frustration and discouragement were at an all time low...what was going on? What did I do wrong? Did I miss a lesson God wanted to teach me? Did I not have enough faith? Were we being punished? We sat in the hospital another two days and then were sent home again to resume tube feedings...nothing made sense anymore..my confidence in drs and medicine had faded and I wasn't even sure Ruth was ok to come home but I just went along with the flow...Sure enough 3hrs later Ruth had a major attack of pain and we were frantically rushing back to the ER that night.
By this point we were furious, sad and frustrated...at medicine, at life, at this horrible disease! By this point Ruth had been stuck so many times there were little areas available for an IV so we asked for the best nurse they had. My heart broke again as we had to hold our little girl down as they tried to find a site. The nurse was excellent and as she started the IV she said, "Praise God! I was praying." It was so encouraging to be surrounded with fellow believers even in that tough situation.
Through this whole process I have had plenty of time to think and pray and it dawned on me one day that LIFE HAPPENS. As Christians we aren't granted free parking through life....stuff happens, trials, bad things, surgery, pain: it's all part of living in this world. The difference is that as Christians we have God's support and love to carry us through. I finally realized we weren't being punished. God had a plan in all of this and He would carry us through even though it might not be a quick trip or exactly the way we wanted it.
We sat in the ER 15hrs and waited for a bed in the hospital. Her numbers had tripled, her white blood count was up and the inflammation was back. I was once again reminded that God has a plan. We felt prompted at this point to ask for a 2nd opinion for her treatment. We felt that God was holding us in the ER for a reason....to prompt us that we were supposed to leave Hershey and weren't meant to get a bed. We asked the head doctor to be transferred to Philadelphia and he fully supported our decision. Within 7hrs we were in an ambulance headed to CHOP and arrived here Wednesday, May 26th.
The Worst that could happen............
Monday and Tuesday were spent in a numb daze, sitting by her bedside watching her sleep, barely talking or moving....the fluid started to accumulate in her lungs from the inflammation in the pancreas. We would anxiously ask the dr's..."but is she going to be ok?" They told us she was in the top 75% of the children that get pancreatitis...I was shocked when they said it might be 4-6weeks until she could eat anything. She was totally NPO(nothing by mouth) for days.
I was asked, "What is the worst that could happen?" The worst I would allow myself to think was missing Vanita's wedding which was quickly approaching--My friend pointedly said: "no, the worst thing is that you would lose your faith in a loving God." I couldn't even wrap my mind around that one...I wanted to have faith but right now I was feeling pretty beat up.
However, as the week progressed she improved quicker than expected and by Friday evening we were home...whew! I thought the worst is here and gone....far from it! By Sat evening we were back in the ER with her having pain and a fever. The nightmare continued and I just wanted to pinch myself and wake up. She was admitted again and for another 5 days I sat there in the hospital room and questioned and worried and hoped.
There was a point when she wasn't tolerating anything and we didn't know what would happen next. By this point I was feeling very defeated and wondering what good all the prayers had been. The wedding was now four days away: my parents were sick so they couldn't watch the children, our 2nd mortgage was coming due and Ruth wasn't getting better.
I remember driving back to the hospital in exhaustion and defeat and telling God I gave up everything: even Ruth...suddenly I realized that the worst thing that could happen WAS not to feel God's Love, not to believe that He was real and He was there for us...just as quickly I also realized that He was real that He was there with me in the car and I felt the presence of angels as I began to praise His name.
I have never felt such an awesome presence before--when I came to the end of myself, the end of all my plans,hopes, dreams...everything I held dear was laid at His feet--under His care.
I sat in the car at Hershey and sobbed: willing for whatever He had in store. I realized He was helping me face my worse fears of losing a child...He was giving me the privilege of laying her at His feet and letting Him protect her life in whatever way she needed.
Thursday night I was once again waiting and praying when suddenly a passage of Scripture came to me:
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
9"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"
I felt His gentle prompting...you gave me your Isaac--now I'm giving you the ram in the bush--here is My promise--pray it! So Dave and I prayed this verse together and asked our Heavenly Father for a 'loaf of bread' for our daughter.
Within 12hrs she was tolerating the feeds up to full speed and was home 24hrs before the wedding! We were all able to celebrate with Vanita and Joe last Saturday and even though the hard days weren't over--God gave us the blessing we asked for just when we needed it!
I was asked, "What is the worst that could happen?" The worst I would allow myself to think was missing Vanita's wedding which was quickly approaching--My friend pointedly said: "no, the worst thing is that you would lose your faith in a loving God." I couldn't even wrap my mind around that one...I wanted to have faith but right now I was feeling pretty beat up.
However, as the week progressed she improved quicker than expected and by Friday evening we were home...whew! I thought the worst is here and gone....far from it! By Sat evening we were back in the ER with her having pain and a fever. The nightmare continued and I just wanted to pinch myself and wake up. She was admitted again and for another 5 days I sat there in the hospital room and questioned and worried and hoped.
There was a point when she wasn't tolerating anything and we didn't know what would happen next. By this point I was feeling very defeated and wondering what good all the prayers had been. The wedding was now four days away: my parents were sick so they couldn't watch the children, our 2nd mortgage was coming due and Ruth wasn't getting better.
I remember driving back to the hospital in exhaustion and defeat and telling God I gave up everything: even Ruth...suddenly I realized that the worst thing that could happen WAS not to feel God's Love, not to believe that He was real and He was there for us...just as quickly I also realized that He was real that He was there with me in the car and I felt the presence of angels as I began to praise His name.
I have never felt such an awesome presence before--when I came to the end of myself, the end of all my plans,hopes, dreams...everything I held dear was laid at His feet--under His care.
I sat in the car at Hershey and sobbed: willing for whatever He had in store. I realized He was helping me face my worse fears of losing a child...He was giving me the privilege of laying her at His feet and letting Him protect her life in whatever way she needed.
Thursday night I was once again waiting and praying when suddenly a passage of Scripture came to me:
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
9"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"
I felt His gentle prompting...you gave me your Isaac--now I'm giving you the ram in the bush--here is My promise--pray it! So Dave and I prayed this verse together and asked our Heavenly Father for a 'loaf of bread' for our daughter.
Within 12hrs she was tolerating the feeds up to full speed and was home 24hrs before the wedding! We were all able to celebrate with Vanita and Joe last Saturday and even though the hard days weren't over--God gave us the blessing we asked for just when we needed it!
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Drawing closer
"Crosses are a means that God uses to draw us closer to Himself". A quote I had saved from my accident scrapbook--a previous time in life when I had to walk through a trial and felt God's presence.
The story goes back to August of 2003 when I was involved in a serious accident by myself in the hills of WV. A kind truck driver stopped at the accident scene and stayed by my bedside in the ER all night long until I was discharged with no serious injuries. He then drove me home, stopping to buy me breakfast and then deliver me safely to my parents. I never forgot his kindness or how God worked in my life that summer. I have never felt God's love so clearly or powerful as I did that August--when I hit rock bottom and had nothing left but Him.
Saturday, May 8th I was reminded of that through an amazing 'God-planned' encounter. The truck driver, Bob, called me out of the blue and said he was in the area that day could he visit?! I was shocked and excited. We had been praying all day for Ruth who had vomited that morning and was looking worse throughout the day. Bob's sudden call seemed so providential..what are the chances that a truck driver I only met once who had since moved to NC would be in my town the day that I was calling out to God for help? I felt an amazing spirit of excitement and started to praise God for what He was going to do in our life. Dave and I planned a quick meal and Bob came that afternoon...we talked about the accident and how God had worked that summer...Later over the supper table Bob talked about his wife who had died of cancer 2 years after my accident. He looked at us and said, "Sometimes it's hard to know why God allows some things to happen...but He always has a plan." I felt a sudden warning, like maybe things weren't going to be just 'fixed' for us--maybe it was part of a bigger plan.
Later than night we had to take Ruth to the dr and she was admitted to Harrisburg hospital for dehydration. I was puzzled...I had felt God's presence so clearly that afternoon--how did we end up in the hospital? where was His healing touch?
The next morning her condition worsened and after tests and labwork the dr's diagnosed her with pancreatitis and had her transferred to Hershey Medical Center.
It was then I realized this wasn't a little stomach bug, it wasn't going to be an easy answer: our little girl was really sick. I felt myself go into a numb sort of fear and worry as our little girl was transported by ambulance to the ped floor at Hershey and my mind tried to sort out what was happening and why....
A team of dr's, nurses and residents surrounded her and quizzed us on her sickness. They ordered a stomach tube placed to drain her swollen belly. Dave and I stood back and watched a team of people hold our little girl down and force a tube down her throat as she screamed in terror and vomited as she fought. I couldn't take the pain of watching our little girl suffer. I stumbled out to the hallway with Dave--we sobbed at the heart-wrenching screams of a little girl in pain, our daughter, I could no longer protect her from pain, I couldn't make it all better, I couldn't shield her from this experience...I have never felt so helpless as in that moment when as a mother I had to walk away from my daughter.
Suddenly, amidst the pain and realization that we couldn't be there for her--I heard a still small voice..."But I am"...and I realized that it wasn't my job to protect Ruth or carry her through life....God was there and He would take care of her even when I couldn't.
The story goes back to August of 2003 when I was involved in a serious accident by myself in the hills of WV. A kind truck driver stopped at the accident scene and stayed by my bedside in the ER all night long until I was discharged with no serious injuries. He then drove me home, stopping to buy me breakfast and then deliver me safely to my parents. I never forgot his kindness or how God worked in my life that summer. I have never felt God's love so clearly or powerful as I did that August--when I hit rock bottom and had nothing left but Him.
Saturday, May 8th I was reminded of that through an amazing 'God-planned' encounter. The truck driver, Bob, called me out of the blue and said he was in the area that day could he visit?! I was shocked and excited. We had been praying all day for Ruth who had vomited that morning and was looking worse throughout the day. Bob's sudden call seemed so providential..what are the chances that a truck driver I only met once who had since moved to NC would be in my town the day that I was calling out to God for help? I felt an amazing spirit of excitement and started to praise God for what He was going to do in our life. Dave and I planned a quick meal and Bob came that afternoon...we talked about the accident and how God had worked that summer...Later over the supper table Bob talked about his wife who had died of cancer 2 years after my accident. He looked at us and said, "Sometimes it's hard to know why God allows some things to happen...but He always has a plan." I felt a sudden warning, like maybe things weren't going to be just 'fixed' for us--maybe it was part of a bigger plan.
Later than night we had to take Ruth to the dr and she was admitted to Harrisburg hospital for dehydration. I was puzzled...I had felt God's presence so clearly that afternoon--how did we end up in the hospital? where was His healing touch?
The next morning her condition worsened and after tests and labwork the dr's diagnosed her with pancreatitis and had her transferred to Hershey Medical Center.
It was then I realized this wasn't a little stomach bug, it wasn't going to be an easy answer: our little girl was really sick. I felt myself go into a numb sort of fear and worry as our little girl was transported by ambulance to the ped floor at Hershey and my mind tried to sort out what was happening and why....
A team of dr's, nurses and residents surrounded her and quizzed us on her sickness. They ordered a stomach tube placed to drain her swollen belly. Dave and I stood back and watched a team of people hold our little girl down and force a tube down her throat as she screamed in terror and vomited as she fought. I couldn't take the pain of watching our little girl suffer. I stumbled out to the hallway with Dave--we sobbed at the heart-wrenching screams of a little girl in pain, our daughter, I could no longer protect her from pain, I couldn't make it all better, I couldn't shield her from this experience...I have never felt so helpless as in that moment when as a mother I had to walk away from my daughter.
Suddenly, amidst the pain and realization that we couldn't be there for her--I heard a still small voice..."But I am"...and I realized that it wasn't my job to protect Ruth or carry her through life....God was there and He would take care of her even when I couldn't.
A Jump into the Unknown
The past three weeks have been a blur under which one passage of Scripture keeps coming back to remind of us God's promises. Here is the backdrop for our story:
The month before Ruth's illness was filled with setbacks, frustrations and hurdles. Our old house was on the market with no buyers in sight meaning we were juggling bills for two houses and problems for two houses. A $400 plumbing back-up in our new house one week and the next week water in the basement of our new house and our old house! The children were struggling with sickness and the typical issues parents deal with. Bills kept coming and money kept going and we struggled to keep everything going....one particularly challenging morning I felt like I just couldn't keep going and a friend of mine shared this passage of Scripture with me:
Psalms 20 "May the LORD answer you when you are in distress;
may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.
2 May he send you help from the sanctuary
and grant you support from Zion.
3 May he remember all your sacrifices
and accept your burnt offerings.
Selah
4 May he give you the desire of your heart
and make all your plans succeed.
5 We will shout for joy when you are victorious
and will lift up our banners in the name of our God.
May the LORD grant all your requests.
6 Now I know that the LORD saves his anointed;
he answers him from his holy heaven
with the saving power of his right hand.
7 Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.
8 They are brought to their knees and fall,
but we rise up and stand firm.
9 O LORD, save the king!
Answer us when we call!
This passage inspired Dave and I...we definitely felt like we needed help and realized that we had been trusting in chariots and in horses instead of truly depending on God for all our needs. We prayed and asked God to take control of our family. We felt some of the stress and burden roll away as we claimed this passage knowing He could meet our needs.
It seems funny now looking back to think how we worried about bills and decisions--how I wish I could go back to that simple life! We had no idea at that time that we were about to enter one of the hardest times of our life as a family and that trusting God is a journey not a destination.
Thank you for supporting us on this journey--prayers, offers of help, gifts, phone calls and cards--all a tangible reminder to us of God's love. My goal with this blog is to share with you as I process and reflect on the lessons we are learning. Thanks for joining me!
The month before Ruth's illness was filled with setbacks, frustrations and hurdles. Our old house was on the market with no buyers in sight meaning we were juggling bills for two houses and problems for two houses. A $400 plumbing back-up in our new house one week and the next week water in the basement of our new house and our old house! The children were struggling with sickness and the typical issues parents deal with. Bills kept coming and money kept going and we struggled to keep everything going....one particularly challenging morning I felt like I just couldn't keep going and a friend of mine shared this passage of Scripture with me:
Psalms 20 "May the LORD answer you when you are in distress;
may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.
2 May he send you help from the sanctuary
and grant you support from Zion.
3 May he remember all your sacrifices
and accept your burnt offerings.
Selah
4 May he give you the desire of your heart
and make all your plans succeed.
5 We will shout for joy when you are victorious
and will lift up our banners in the name of our God.
May the LORD grant all your requests.
6 Now I know that the LORD saves his anointed;
he answers him from his holy heaven
with the saving power of his right hand.
7 Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.
8 They are brought to their knees and fall,
but we rise up and stand firm.
9 O LORD, save the king!
Answer us when we call!
This passage inspired Dave and I...we definitely felt like we needed help and realized that we had been trusting in chariots and in horses instead of truly depending on God for all our needs. We prayed and asked God to take control of our family. We felt some of the stress and burden roll away as we claimed this passage knowing He could meet our needs.
It seems funny now looking back to think how we worried about bills and decisions--how I wish I could go back to that simple life! We had no idea at that time that we were about to enter one of the hardest times of our life as a family and that trusting God is a journey not a destination.
Thank you for supporting us on this journey--prayers, offers of help, gifts, phone calls and cards--all a tangible reminder to us of God's love. My goal with this blog is to share with you as I process and reflect on the lessons we are learning. Thanks for joining me!
Monday, March 8, 2010
New Discoveries!
Since my last post the children continued to struggle with reactions: waking at night, burning eyes and tongue, gas, diarrhea etc...I knew they were having a tough time with the antibiotics but wasn't sure how else to handle their sickness.
On Saturday I went to Sonnewald and learned some amazing health facts! An overgrowth of yeast in children/adults can cause a multitude of reactions: sleeplessness, gas, burning eyes, pimples, skin problems, fatigue, mood swings--every symptoms me and the kids had been struggling with! The reason that our healthy diet had improved the symptoms was because sugar feeds yeast. When we eliminated the preservatives and 'fake stuff' the kids had a better chance to maintain healthy bacteria. However, the body often needs an extra boost of probiotics to heal the intestines as well as a healthy diet. After 2 days on a specific regiment of acidolophus the three children showed amazing results!!!! Hannah's muccus and runny nose and cold sore disappeared! THey started sleeping through the night and appeared much calmer!
I feel like we have discovered a gold mine of information that just clinches everything else I learned this year about healthy eating.
On Saturday I went to Sonnewald and learned some amazing health facts! An overgrowth of yeast in children/adults can cause a multitude of reactions: sleeplessness, gas, burning eyes, pimples, skin problems, fatigue, mood swings--every symptoms me and the kids had been struggling with! The reason that our healthy diet had improved the symptoms was because sugar feeds yeast. When we eliminated the preservatives and 'fake stuff' the kids had a better chance to maintain healthy bacteria. However, the body often needs an extra boost of probiotics to heal the intestines as well as a healthy diet. After 2 days on a specific regiment of acidolophus the three children showed amazing results!!!! Hannah's muccus and runny nose and cold sore disappeared! THey started sleeping through the night and appeared much calmer!
I feel like we have discovered a gold mine of information that just clinches everything else I learned this year about healthy eating.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Food Allergies
I feel like some additives have snuck in our diet somewhere. Stephen has been complaining of a sore tongue and we've had a few nights with screaming, waking up etc, pimples on their butt, diarrhea and discomfort and ear infections--all symptoms of food allergies!
http://babyandkidallergies.com/high_fructose_corn_syrup.php
I found a great sight that actually lists different symptoms. Off to scour my cupboard for the guilty food!
http://babyandkidallergies.com/high_fructose_corn_syrup.php
I found a great sight that actually lists different symptoms. Off to scour my cupboard for the guilty food!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Starter grocery list:
The task of revamping your pantry can be a daunting one! I would like to offer a sample list that is a great start to a new diet!
Celtic Sea Salt or Real Salt--very important addition! real salt has beneficial minerals that helps your body absorb nutrients and process sugar. (product found at almost any grocery or health store)
Ground Flaxseed meal--another great nutrient--high in omega 3's and fiber..>I add this to meatballs, french toast, pancakes, bread, cakes, cookies--the list is endless--it has basically no taste and is easy to 'hide'...Healthy Grocer has this in the frig section for about $4...I have had mine for over 6months in the frig and used it countless times-definitely worth the money!
Raw sugar--my favorite is Succanet which I have only found at Sonnewald's in Spring Grove(definitely the cheapest anyway) this is unprocessed with a lot more nutrients and a lot less 'bad stuff' than white sugar
Whole Wheat flour--also recommend Sonnewald--you can buy it in the store but it is still processed somewhat and doesn't have quite the nutrients--it is still better than white flour though. I started with 50/50 white/wheat and now have increased to almost all wheat.
Nature's Promise eggs--just discovered they are also range free(no meds or grain) and only $1.99 a doz. at Giant! Range free eggs are full of nutrients and one of the highest sources of one of the vitamins--I think B....
"Healthy chicken boullion"--Sonnewald's and Karns supermarket carry this--At sonnewald it is $7 something for like 60 servings that lasts me 4-6months and it is so much healthier!
This is just the surface of 'healthy' eating--but a great way to start replacing some processed foods with some nutrient dense ones! I usually go to Sonnewald's every couple of months and stock up and the rest of the groceries can be found locally...
Have fun shopping!
Celtic Sea Salt or Real Salt--very important addition! real salt has beneficial minerals that helps your body absorb nutrients and process sugar. (product found at almost any grocery or health store)
Ground Flaxseed meal--another great nutrient--high in omega 3's and fiber..>I add this to meatballs, french toast, pancakes, bread, cakes, cookies--the list is endless--it has basically no taste and is easy to 'hide'...Healthy Grocer has this in the frig section for about $4...I have had mine for over 6months in the frig and used it countless times-definitely worth the money!
Raw sugar--my favorite is Succanet which I have only found at Sonnewald's in Spring Grove(definitely the cheapest anyway) this is unprocessed with a lot more nutrients and a lot less 'bad stuff' than white sugar
Whole Wheat flour--also recommend Sonnewald--you can buy it in the store but it is still processed somewhat and doesn't have quite the nutrients--it is still better than white flour though. I started with 50/50 white/wheat and now have increased to almost all wheat.
Nature's Promise eggs--just discovered they are also range free(no meds or grain) and only $1.99 a doz. at Giant! Range free eggs are full of nutrients and one of the highest sources of one of the vitamins--I think B....
"Healthy chicken boullion"--Sonnewald's and Karns supermarket carry this--At sonnewald it is $7 something for like 60 servings that lasts me 4-6months and it is so much healthier!
This is just the surface of 'healthy' eating--but a great way to start replacing some processed foods with some nutrient dense ones! I usually go to Sonnewald's every couple of months and stock up and the rest of the groceries can be found locally...
Have fun shopping!
Friday, February 19, 2010
Changed diet, changed life, changed son!
Our journey towards healthy eating was not rocket science but it has changed our lives so much I wanted to share it with you in the hopes that what I learned can help someone else.
The first (and hardest) step in our journey was realizing our son Stephen was 'different'....last Dec and Jan we began to seriously question his speech therapist...why isn't he talking? why hasn't a year of speech therapy helped him? why is he running around and rubbing his head into things, chewing on items and pushing his sister constantly? Why does he seem lost in his own world and not make an effort to join ours? Why did his good appetite shrink down to a limited diet? Our questions and worries went on and on--I felt helpless to reach out and connect with my son, helpless to help him reach out and connect with others and so frustrated with the endless answers: "he's fine, just a slow learner, maybe it's parenting...you just need to discipline him more...."
When I finally found professionals who would listen to me the next step wasn't much easier: accepting that my son had a 'label'...however I was hopeful that maybe now we could get him some help...during the process we decided to attempt a gluten free casein free diet--that is a challenge! Through a friend's help we separated the diet into 3 phases and started Phase 1 which is what I want to share with you. (The GFCF diet wasn't successful with us but for some it is...we found that the initial changes we made were the most helpful and significant in decreasing Stephen's behaviors and starting him on the road to recovery.)
Over the next 6 months we implemented this diet, started him with some good therapist and school program and added some amazing supplements(ask for more details) to his regiment. I am grateful to say that today our son is a different person! Whereas before he would play in his own area he now initiates play, he no longer sucks or chews on everything, his aggressive behavior has decreased 80-85%, he speaks in some whole sentences, he can name everyone in the family, he can ask for help...the list goes on and on! Not to mention he eats 2-3 full meals a day!
You might think you don't have money to get healthy food but we have found ways to stay within our budget and eat healthy! for us, we can't afford not to eat healthy.
My goal is to help you and anyone else who is interested learn simple and cost effective ways to change your lifestyle to a healthy one. Please share input, questions and feedback! I am constantly learning new ways to add nutrition to our diet and I would love to hear your tips too!
The first step in this process is obviously having the right foods on hand....What I did(with a friend's help) was to write out foods that the kids loved and would eat 90% of the time...then I recreated a menu with healthy options and stocked up on foods enough for a week or two to ease us into the diet. We had no problem switching over--the kids loved the foods and within a week or two Stephen was back to eating meat and even trying foods he hadn't eaten in months!
Here is what our first sample menu looked like:
Breakfast Before:
Lucky charms, poptarts, bananas, cereal, scrambled eggs, pancakes, french toast, sausage
Breakfast After:
Grass fed eggs, whole wheat pancakes with homemade syrup or maple syrup or Log Cabin syrup(only one without HFCS), Farmland sausage, rice chex cereal, organic poptarts(or no pop tarts)
Lunch Before:
hotdogs, spaghettios, PB and jelly, mac n cheese, grilled cheese, chicken nuggets
Lunch After:
turkey hotdogs(msg free), no canned foods, natural PB, homemade or organic jelly on wheat bread, no mac n cheese(our kids wouldn't eat organic) whole wheat grilled cheese, Tyson chicken nuggets(all natural) or grilled chicken breast
Snacks:
Welch's fruit snacks(REd 40 and dye) sandwich crackers(HFCS), cookies, candy
Snacks after: cheese, nuts, raisins, organic fruit snacks, natural or organic crackers(amelia's or sharp shopper has these cheap) homemade cookies or fruit
Supper:
varies..basically any meat, potato and vegetable meal without sauce is good--I have a recipe for homemade cream soup and I add garlic and vegetables to everything I can
Misc:
we took out chocolate and strawberry syrup both with HFCS or red 40
Well, that's all for tonight--changing the diet can feel overwhelming but it is so worth every minute, dime and effort you put into it! Even if you look at this list and only add or take away one thing a week you are improving your lifestyle and making a difference! Thank you for taking the time to read this and please feel free to add your questions or input!
The first (and hardest) step in our journey was realizing our son Stephen was 'different'....last Dec and Jan we began to seriously question his speech therapist...why isn't he talking? why hasn't a year of speech therapy helped him? why is he running around and rubbing his head into things, chewing on items and pushing his sister constantly? Why does he seem lost in his own world and not make an effort to join ours? Why did his good appetite shrink down to a limited diet? Our questions and worries went on and on--I felt helpless to reach out and connect with my son, helpless to help him reach out and connect with others and so frustrated with the endless answers: "he's fine, just a slow learner, maybe it's parenting...you just need to discipline him more...."
When I finally found professionals who would listen to me the next step wasn't much easier: accepting that my son had a 'label'...however I was hopeful that maybe now we could get him some help...during the process we decided to attempt a gluten free casein free diet--that is a challenge! Through a friend's help we separated the diet into 3 phases and started Phase 1 which is what I want to share with you. (The GFCF diet wasn't successful with us but for some it is...we found that the initial changes we made were the most helpful and significant in decreasing Stephen's behaviors and starting him on the road to recovery.)
Over the next 6 months we implemented this diet, started him with some good therapist and school program and added some amazing supplements(ask for more details) to his regiment. I am grateful to say that today our son is a different person! Whereas before he would play in his own area he now initiates play, he no longer sucks or chews on everything, his aggressive behavior has decreased 80-85%, he speaks in some whole sentences, he can name everyone in the family, he can ask for help...the list goes on and on! Not to mention he eats 2-3 full meals a day!
You might think you don't have money to get healthy food but we have found ways to stay within our budget and eat healthy! for us, we can't afford not to eat healthy.
My goal is to help you and anyone else who is interested learn simple and cost effective ways to change your lifestyle to a healthy one. Please share input, questions and feedback! I am constantly learning new ways to add nutrition to our diet and I would love to hear your tips too!
The first step in this process is obviously having the right foods on hand....What I did(with a friend's help) was to write out foods that the kids loved and would eat 90% of the time...then I recreated a menu with healthy options and stocked up on foods enough for a week or two to ease us into the diet. We had no problem switching over--the kids loved the foods and within a week or two Stephen was back to eating meat and even trying foods he hadn't eaten in months!
Here is what our first sample menu looked like:
Breakfast Before:
Lucky charms, poptarts, bananas, cereal, scrambled eggs, pancakes, french toast, sausage
Breakfast After:
Grass fed eggs, whole wheat pancakes with homemade syrup or maple syrup or Log Cabin syrup(only one without HFCS), Farmland sausage, rice chex cereal, organic poptarts(or no pop tarts)
Lunch Before:
hotdogs, spaghettios, PB and jelly, mac n cheese, grilled cheese, chicken nuggets
Lunch After:
turkey hotdogs(msg free), no canned foods, natural PB, homemade or organic jelly on wheat bread, no mac n cheese(our kids wouldn't eat organic) whole wheat grilled cheese, Tyson chicken nuggets(all natural) or grilled chicken breast
Snacks:
Welch's fruit snacks(REd 40 and dye) sandwich crackers(HFCS), cookies, candy
Snacks after: cheese, nuts, raisins, organic fruit snacks, natural or organic crackers(amelia's or sharp shopper has these cheap) homemade cookies or fruit
Supper:
varies..basically any meat, potato and vegetable meal without sauce is good--I have a recipe for homemade cream soup and I add garlic and vegetables to everything I can
Misc:
we took out chocolate and strawberry syrup both with HFCS or red 40
Well, that's all for tonight--changing the diet can feel overwhelming but it is so worth every minute, dime and effort you put into it! Even if you look at this list and only add or take away one thing a week you are improving your lifestyle and making a difference! Thank you for taking the time to read this and please feel free to add your questions or input!
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