The Worst that could happen............

Monday and Tuesday were spent in a numb daze, sitting by her bedside watching her sleep, barely talking or moving....the fluid started to accumulate in her lungs from the inflammation in the pancreas. We would anxiously ask the dr's..."but is she going to be ok?" They told us she was in the top 75% of the children that get pancreatitis...I was shocked when they said it might be 4-6weeks until she could eat anything. She was totally NPO(nothing by mouth) for days.

I was asked, "What is the worst that could happen?" The worst I would allow myself to think was missing Vanita's wedding which was quickly approaching--My friend pointedly said: "no, the worst thing is that you would lose your faith in a loving God." I couldn't even wrap my mind around that one...I wanted to have faith but right now I was feeling pretty beat up.

However, as the week progressed she improved quicker than expected and by Friday evening we were home...whew! I thought the worst is here and gone....far from it! By Sat evening we were back in the ER with her having pain and a fever. The nightmare continued and I just wanted to pinch myself and wake up. She was admitted again and for another 5 days I sat there in the hospital room and questioned and worried and hoped.

There was a point when she wasn't tolerating anything and we didn't know what would happen next. By this point I was feeling very defeated and wondering what good all the prayers had been. The wedding was now four days away: my parents were sick so they couldn't watch the children, our 2nd mortgage was coming due and Ruth wasn't getting better.

I remember driving back to the hospital in exhaustion and defeat and telling God I gave up everything: even Ruth...suddenly I realized that the worst thing that could happen WAS not to feel God's Love, not to believe that He was real and He was there for us...just as quickly I also realized that He was real that He was there with me in the car and I felt the presence of angels as I began to praise His name.

I have never felt such an awesome presence before--when I came to the end of myself, the end of all my plans,hopes, dreams...everything I held dear was laid at His feet--under His care.

I sat in the car at Hershey and sobbed: willing for whatever He had in store. I realized He was helping me face my worse fears of losing a child...He was giving me the privilege of laying her at His feet and letting Him protect her life in whatever way she needed.

Thursday night I was once again waiting and praying when suddenly a passage of Scripture came to me:
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

9"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"

I felt His gentle prompting...you gave me your Isaac--now I'm giving you the ram in the bush--here is My promise--pray it! So Dave and I prayed this verse together and asked our Heavenly Father for a 'loaf of bread' for our daughter.

Within 12hrs she was tolerating the feeds up to full speed and was home 24hrs before the wedding! We were all able to celebrate with Vanita and Joe last Saturday and even though the hard days weren't over--God gave us the blessing we asked for just when we needed it!