Dave and I were discussing some financial challenges last night and I said,"seems like God isn't doing anything we expected Him to." and then I had to stop and laugh...Here I was expecting God to bless my plans instead of surrendering to whatever His plan was. I thought of Job...who lost everything he owned and yet in the end--he was willing to accept God's sovereign plan.
What a blessing to realize that we are not responsible to make the perfect decision, solve our problems or figure everything out! Our responsibility is to dwell in His presence and take one decision, one day at a time seeking His will for each step--instead of writing our own map and asking Him to remove all the construction :-)
Job answered God: "I'm convinced: You can do anything and everything.
Nothing and no one can upset your plans.
You asked, 'Who is this muddying the water,
ignorantly confusing the issue, second-guessing my purposes?'
I admit it. I was the one. I babbled on about things far beyond me,
made small talk about wonders way over my head.
You told me, 'Listen, and let me do the talking.
Let me ask the questions. You give the answers.'
I admit I once lived by rumors of you;
now I have it all firsthand—from my own eyes and ears!"
My goal for this week: stop 'babbling' and start listening!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
The view from the other side:
Wow! What a blessing it is after you cross through the valley, climb the mountain and look behind you at the beautiful view! So many blessings and promises fulfilled as God carried us through. I think it is worth it to cross through the dark valley to see God's hand on everything! We are praising Him for all we have and all He has given us. I have to go back to our passage, the thoughts that started this blog and praise His name as I read it......
Psalm 20
A David Psalm
1-4 God answer you on the day you crash, The name God-of-Jacob put you out of harm's reach,
Send reinforcements from Holy Hill,
Dispatch from Zion fresh supplies,
Exclaim over your offerings,
Celebrate your sacrifices,
Give you what your heart desires,
Accomplish your plans.
5 When you win, we plan to raise the roof
and lead the parade with our banners.
May all your wishes come true!
6 That clinches it—help's coming,
an answer's on the way,
everything's going to work out.
7-8 See those people polishing their chariots,
and those others grooming their horses?
But we're making garlands for God our God.
The chariots will rust,
those horses pull up lame—
and we'll be on our feet, standing tall.
9 Make the king a winner, God;
the day we call, give us your answer.
Update on Ruth: she has adjusted to being home quite easily :-) she is treasuring every moment at home, especially playing with Stephen and Hannah! She didn't eat much today but drank plenty of liquids and was in a great mood :-) All we ask for at this point! As for the future, we don't know what it holds....we have to return to CHOP for follow-up and more imaging to check on the pseudo cyst that formed in her pancreas. She will be on a bland, low-fat diet for quite some time until her stomach/pancreas heals totally.
For now we are happy to be home: to be together as a family to enjoy life together!
Psalm 20
A David Psalm
1-4 God answer you on the day you crash, The name God-of-Jacob put you out of harm's reach,
Send reinforcements from Holy Hill,
Dispatch from Zion fresh supplies,
Exclaim over your offerings,
Celebrate your sacrifices,
Give you what your heart desires,
Accomplish your plans.
5 When you win, we plan to raise the roof
and lead the parade with our banners.
May all your wishes come true!
6 That clinches it—help's coming,
an answer's on the way,
everything's going to work out.
7-8 See those people polishing their chariots,
and those others grooming their horses?
But we're making garlands for God our God.
The chariots will rust,
those horses pull up lame—
and we'll be on our feet, standing tall.
9 Make the king a winner, God;
the day we call, give us your answer.
Update on Ruth: she has adjusted to being home quite easily :-) she is treasuring every moment at home, especially playing with Stephen and Hannah! She didn't eat much today but drank plenty of liquids and was in a great mood :-) All we ask for at this point! As for the future, we don't know what it holds....we have to return to CHOP for follow-up and more imaging to check on the pseudo cyst that formed in her pancreas. She will be on a bland, low-fat diet for quite some time until her stomach/pancreas heals totally.
For now we are happy to be home: to be together as a family to enjoy life together!
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Out of the desert
Wow...it's hard to believe that it has been 29days since this journey started. It seems like a lifetime ago that I was planning Mothers Day dinner and stressing about a dirty house.
God's presence has been so real, His grace so powerful in our lives, His love so evident in all the phone calls, cards, gifts, meals and e-mails from all of you! As we prepare to go home shortly(we still don't know when) I think of all the lessons we learned and all the Scripture that encouraged us...I feel like God took Dave and I out into the desert for some 'quality' time with Him and now it's time to go back to our ministry: raising three beautiful children. I realize that it was easier to focus on God when I had time to pray and meditate 24/7 without distractions of life and housework. Now the challenge begins--remembering His goodness and grace even when life goes smoothly and relying on Him for guidance even in the small steps of life.
Not sure I'll have as much time to continue the blog once we hit the ground running :-) and my thoughts might not be quite so deep amidst diaper changes and dirty dishes....but I hope I never forget the lessons we learned in a hospital room.
Love you all! Thanks for walking with us through our journey!
God's presence has been so real, His grace so powerful in our lives, His love so evident in all the phone calls, cards, gifts, meals and e-mails from all of you! As we prepare to go home shortly(we still don't know when) I think of all the lessons we learned and all the Scripture that encouraged us...I feel like God took Dave and I out into the desert for some 'quality' time with Him and now it's time to go back to our ministry: raising three beautiful children. I realize that it was easier to focus on God when I had time to pray and meditate 24/7 without distractions of life and housework. Now the challenge begins--remembering His goodness and grace even when life goes smoothly and relying on Him for guidance even in the small steps of life.
Not sure I'll have as much time to continue the blog once we hit the ground running :-) and my thoughts might not be quite so deep amidst diaper changes and dirty dishes....but I hope I never forget the lessons we learned in a hospital room.
Love you all! Thanks for walking with us through our journey!
Friday, June 4, 2010
Morsels of Grace
I've always had a hard time appreciating the little things in life....success to me was accomplishing a big task, cleaning the whole house, paying all the bills, filling the cupboards full with food....however, a month in the hospital has changed my perspective a lot!
For three weeks I couldn't offer my little girl even a sip of water...the occasions when she did have something often triggered her pancreas and either sent her into a pain attack or vomiting. I felt helpless...food was always pretty important in my life and I gauged my success as a mom with how well or how often I fed the children. Now all that was taken away and I had nothing left...until I realized that all my daughter wanted was for me to put my arms around her, to spend time with her, to play with her without distractions. Each moment became precious and soon I learned to value each moment with Ruth, with or without food.
Now that she is eating again...I watch every bite that goes in her mouth and praise God that she can have food again! Now every morsel feels like a gift, a treasure--an answer to prayer! and I wonder....if every part of life is meant to feel like that....a morsel of grace, a gift from our Heavenly Father!
For three weeks I couldn't offer my little girl even a sip of water...the occasions when she did have something often triggered her pancreas and either sent her into a pain attack or vomiting. I felt helpless...food was always pretty important in my life and I gauged my success as a mom with how well or how often I fed the children. Now all that was taken away and I had nothing left...until I realized that all my daughter wanted was for me to put my arms around her, to spend time with her, to play with her without distractions. Each moment became precious and soon I learned to value each moment with Ruth, with or without food.
Now that she is eating again...I watch every bite that goes in her mouth and praise God that she can have food again! Now every morsel feels like a gift, a treasure--an answer to prayer! and I wonder....if every part of life is meant to feel like that....a morsel of grace, a gift from our Heavenly Father!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Living a worry-free life?
So I thought the biggest worry would be getting through 24hrs without pain meds or an attack but then they said I could offer Ruth liquids and I was analyzing every swallow she took, every hiccup, every grunt--are you in pain? does your belly hurt? I quizzed her constantly too afraid to hope that maybe it would be ok this time. I finally realized that either it would work or it wouldn't and me freaking her out with questions wasn't helping.
I was thinking today--again on the elevator--how much worrying does God intend us Christians to experience? If we trust Him with the big things, the mortgage, health, the bills...when do we draw the line and stop trusting? If I gave Him control of Ruth did that mean I shouldn't worry about every swallow she took? Would He take care of Hannah's bad diaper rash and Stephen's anxiety? Then I started to think of Scripture...about not worrying about tomorrow...about how He cares for the sparrow and I started to wonder if God's plan for me included worry or complete faith in an ultimate loving Father who intended EVERYTHING for my good.
This is tough? I'm a MOM! Can't I worry at all? Isn't there some part of life that I need to control? The question remains: where do I draw the line at trusting God......
And after all that worrying--Ruth has done fabulous! She ate a full meal for supper of turkey, potatoes, veggies, fruit and bread! How much easier it would have been to celebrate God's blessings every bite of the way instead of worrying. But then I realized....I'm never going to 'arrive'....as many lessons as I've learned this hospital stay there are SO many more to go through...though I must say-I'm hoping to graduate this 'class' soon! :-)
I was thinking today--again on the elevator--how much worrying does God intend us Christians to experience? If we trust Him with the big things, the mortgage, health, the bills...when do we draw the line and stop trusting? If I gave Him control of Ruth did that mean I shouldn't worry about every swallow she took? Would He take care of Hannah's bad diaper rash and Stephen's anxiety? Then I started to think of Scripture...about not worrying about tomorrow...about how He cares for the sparrow and I started to wonder if God's plan for me included worry or complete faith in an ultimate loving Father who intended EVERYTHING for my good.
This is tough? I'm a MOM! Can't I worry at all? Isn't there some part of life that I need to control? The question remains: where do I draw the line at trusting God......
And after all that worrying--Ruth has done fabulous! She ate a full meal for supper of turkey, potatoes, veggies, fruit and bread! How much easier it would have been to celebrate God's blessings every bite of the way instead of worrying. But then I realized....I'm never going to 'arrive'....as many lessons as I've learned this hospital stay there are SO many more to go through...though I must say-I'm hoping to graduate this 'class' soon! :-)
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Choose life
I was thinking today as I rode the elevator up and down--going through 'normal' routines here at Philadelphia....what would I choose? Would I choose a solitary life with no hardships, coasting through with no ups and downs or would I choose a life with some struggles, some opportunities for growth and faith--knowing that there was a Sovereign God who cared and who was orchestrating every step to work out the best in my life. Would I choose a life that was stagnant or a life that was alive with hope, faith and love, with trust in a Heavenly Father that loves me...
I stopped for a second to think back on the past few weeks--as hard as they were, as challenging the waiting, the sorrow, the pain....I never felt alone, never felt deserted. How awesome it is as Christians to go through life knowing that whatever happens--our outcome never changes, our victory is always certain!
Deut. 30:19-20 sums it up:
"I call Heaven and Earth to witness against you today: I place before you Life and Death, Blessing and Curse. Choose life so that you and your children will live. And love God, your God, listening obediently to him, firmly embracing him. Oh yes, He is life itself, a long life settled on the soil that God, your God, promised to give your ancestors, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob."
I stopped for a second to think back on the past few weeks--as hard as they were, as challenging the waiting, the sorrow, the pain....I never felt alone, never felt deserted. How awesome it is as Christians to go through life knowing that whatever happens--our outcome never changes, our victory is always certain!
Deut. 30:19-20 sums it up:
"I call Heaven and Earth to witness against you today: I place before you Life and Death, Blessing and Curse. Choose life so that you and your children will live. And love God, your God, listening obediently to him, firmly embracing him. Oh yes, He is life itself, a long life settled on the soil that God, your God, promised to give your ancestors, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob."
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