I can handle it from here.....

Wow...we've been home from the hospital over a month now....our transition home was a lot different than I expected. God felt so real and close during the different hurdles we faced. I came home exhilarated, empowered and ready to enjoy a normal life. I was determined to keep that faith and trust in God's plan no matter what....but my faith wavered when His plan didn't match mine. I'm not sure what I expected....that I would win a medal for believing that He loved me and protected Ruth? that I could handle normal life but just needed God to watch over Ruth? I certainly didn't expect life to be difficult after 30days in the hospital....boy was I surprised!

I still don't understand why Ruth had a double ear infection and croup or why we all got sick while she was recovering...I don't understand why my sleep is still interrupted almost every night or why my son regressed emotionally and started attacking his sisters to get my attention, I don't understand why life still feels hard and each day feels like another challenge.....I don't understand how we could sell our 2nd house at the asking price with no negotiation, I don't understand how a little girl expected to be on tube feedings for weeks could leave the hospital eating normal foods, I don't understand why God blessed me with three beautiful children and a caring husband.

So upon reflection my thoughts have gone full circle and I am glad that I 'don't understand' but He does! Praising God for Ruth's encouraging check-up yesterday and looking forward to the future, one day at a time. :-)